This is very interesting. I really like the way everything runs together just like one's thoughts during the hours spent chasing sleep. The thoughts are all linked in an almost senseless but inevitable way. Unstoppable. I really identify with the feeling. It's... really quite frustrating. You definately made me feel that, so well done.
This is a fantastic poem. However, my only complaint is that if insomnia is the subject matter, it loses focus a little bit. I wouldn't call it a problem or anything, you've done a wonderful job here and painted quite a picture, but the way I look at insomnia is the exact opposite. I'd think it'd be, the lack of traffic. At least that's what being sleepless feels like. Too much traffic paints a picture of sleepiness instead. But that's just me.
Makes sense; it's different for different people. I get the poem, and I like it, but my knowledge as far as insomnia goes makes me wonder at the authenticity of a few parts. But I must stop clinging to my definitions to appreciate art without getting too technical about it. The poem does convey the feeling very well. Job well done.
i feel as if i know what is happening here. the under-the-surface traffic that clutters and creates action and motion underneath your eyelids. beautiful and i love the lack of punctuation. it creates fluidity that the reader can then enhance by adding their own mental stops and breaks. the meaning - like the structure - can bend and flow to the tune of whoever reads it.
The fact that you took the time to thank people for faving your DD made me want to look at the rest of your gallery. I found the folder dubbed your personal best, and I will definitely say, this is a lovely piece of work
Ah, well literature here is often overlooked, and I am truly grateful for all the feedback & faves. That and it's a DD! If I knew how to, I'd have been doing backflips all day. I wanted to share a little bit of that with everyone. Thank you for coming back to take a look!