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The product of a free-write.

Day 4
#4 insomnia
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Daily Deviation

Given 2011-12-18
:iconkj-illustration:
KJ-Illustration Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
You've been featured here: [link] :heart:
Beautiful piece (:

ps. Please :+fav: if you've enjoyed it to spread the love and attention~!
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:iconpardonm3:
pardonM3 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012
Wow, thank you!
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:iconangie-pictures:
Angie-Pictures Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2011
Congratulations on the DD! :iconflowerheartplz:
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:iconpardonm3:
pardonM3 Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2012
Thanks! :peace:
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:iconangie-pictures:
Angie-Pictures Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2012
It’s my pleasure! :hug:
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:iconoutofflames:
OutOfFlames Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011
Love the poem thanks for your effort
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:iconpardonm3:
pardonM3 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012
Thanks for reading. :peace:
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011
Beautiful work, congrats on the DD! :heart:
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:iconollieboompop:
OllieBoomPop Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
i love how this seems like one long train of thought ;u;
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:iconpardonm3:
pardonM3 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012
Well, that's my brain whenever I'm trying to sleep. Thanks for reading! :peace:
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:iconamika-crystacia:
Amika-Crystacia Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
This is very interesting. I really like the way everything runs together just like one's thoughts during the hours spent chasing sleep. The thoughts are all linked in an almost senseless but inevitable way. Unstoppable.
I really identify with the feeling. It's... really quite frustrating.
You definately made me feel that, so well done.
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:iconpardonm3:
pardonM3 Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2012
I'm glad you relate; this is how my brain runs most nights. Thanks for reading! :peace:
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:iconmeflyingfree:
MeFlyingFree Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011  Professional General Artist
Awesome writing! Congrats on your DD!
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:iconscarletdevil1503:
ScarletDevil1503 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
:clap: Congratulations on the DD! :clap:

-Scarlet
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:iconpotatoesryummy:
potatoesryummy Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
This is beautiful.
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:iconpardonm3:
pardonM3 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012
I'm glad you think so, thank you.
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:iconpotatoesryummy:
potatoesryummy Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
You have a talent!
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:iconmr-ripley:
Mr-Ripley Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
Congrats on the DD :clap:
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:iconpardonm3:
pardonM3 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012
Thanks!
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:iconlit-twitter:
Lit-Twitter Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011
Chirp, congrats on the DD, it's been twittered. [link] :)
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:iconthebrassglass:
TheBrassGlass Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2011  Professional General Artist
It's a little rough around the edges, but I like this a lot. I like that it's sandwiched between the same first and last line.
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:iconshazbar:
Shazbar Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2011  Student Writer
Fantastique~! :thumbsup:
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:icongaianbells:
GaianBells Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2008
What a vivid ring you've led the reader around here' it feels like a whole life is crammed into a few blurring seconds, like a person reliving everything when they're about to die. Wonderful work.
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:iconcolonelfitz:
ColonelFitz Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2008
This is brilliant. I like the way this flows. It's like a dream, it keeps changing fluidly, but somehow, it still manages to make sense. :)
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:iconk-sajid:
K-Sajid Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2008
This is a fantastic poem.
However, my only complaint is that if insomnia is the subject matter, it loses focus a little bit. I wouldn't call it a problem or anything, you've done a wonderful job here and painted quite a picture, but the way I look at insomnia is the exact opposite.
I'd think it'd be, the lack of traffic. At least that's what being sleepless feels like. Too much traffic paints a picture of sleepiness instead. But that's just me.
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:iconpardonm3:
pardonM3 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2008
Thank you, this is one of my favorites.
When I can't sleep, it's often because of too much brain-traffic; I can't stop thinking.
When I'm tired and fall asleep instantly, there isn't much in my head.
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:iconk-sajid:
K-Sajid Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2008
Makes sense; it's different for different people. I get the poem, and I like it, but my knowledge as far as insomnia goes makes me wonder at the authenticity of a few parts. But I must stop clinging to my definitions to appreciate art without getting too technical about it. The poem does convey the feeling very well. Job well done. =)
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:iconeffamay:
Effamay Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2008
just poking about in your older gallery, because I fancied a wander :)

a free write, eh? so does this mean it's not edited like normal pieces? well, however you wrote it, I like how your mind works, I really do.
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:iconpardonm3:
pardonM3 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2008
Well, I figured I'd just write for a few minutes and see what came out.
Then I went over and tidied it up. =)

Thank you for taking a look & leaving such lovely words.
I really do appreciate it.
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:iconeffamay:
Effamay Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2008
you're ever so welcome :hug:

I might... try that. I'm lost for words at the moment.
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:icontuneinturnondropout:
tuneinturnondropout Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2008
what a great poem.
similes come so naturally to you, and your word associations are so unique and impressive.

keep tracking your muddy footprints!
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:iconpardonm3:
pardonM3 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2008
That's quite the compliment!
This is one of my favorite pieces, actually.

Thank you. =)
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:iconejectionletter:
ejectionletter Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
i feel as if i know what is happening here. the under-the-surface traffic that clutters and creates action and motion underneath your eyelids.
beautiful and i love the lack of punctuation. it creates fluidity that the reader can then enhance by adding their own mental stops and breaks. the meaning - like the structure - can bend and flow to the tune of whoever reads it.
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:iconpardonm3:
pardonM3 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2008
This is one of the few poems written in a stream of consciousness that turned out exactly the way I wanted it to (and then some).
Thus, it is one of my favorites.

Thank you. :hug:
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:iconejectionletter:
ejectionletter Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
you're welcome. i love poetry, so... it's no chore reading and commenting.
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:iconpardonm3:
pardonM3 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2008
=)
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:iconjenealia:
Jenealia Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2008   Writer
Wow, what a free-write :o :heart:
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:iconpardonm3:
pardonM3 Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2008
Well, it was word-vomit... I was particularly inspired that week.
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:iconelectrobaby:
ElectroBaby Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2008
The fact that you took the time to thank people for faving your DD made me want to look at the rest of your gallery. I found the folder dubbed your personal best, and I will definitely say, this is a lovely piece of work :D
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:iconpardonm3:
pardonM3 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2008
Ah, well literature here is often overlooked, and I am truly grateful for all the feedback & faves.
That and it's a DD! If I knew how to, I'd have been doing backflips all day. I wanted to share a little bit of that with everyone.
Thank you for coming back to take a look!
:hug:
Reply
:iconelectrobaby:
ElectroBaby Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2008
I think lit is growing in popularity, but we still have a long way. *giggles* Well, you can just pretend to do backflips. No problem, it was a pleasure.
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:iconmellotronpie:
MellotronPie Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2008
I read this in my mind with one breath and nearly passed out into a beautiful daze.
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:iconpardonm3:
pardonM3 Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2008
=D
Oh, what a wonderful thing to say.
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:icongliitchlord:
gliitchlord Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2008   Writer
This one has that compelling quality, pushing you through to the end. Very insomniatic.
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:iconpardonm3:
pardonM3 Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2008
Such is the nature of my brain-traffic.
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:iconprestonmeyers:
PrestonMeyers Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2008
i adore the "black-tar-blood" as well. and the way it runs fast and round in a circle, like late-late-late-should've-been-asleep-hours-ago insomniac thoughts

very nice. get more sleep, would ya? =)
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:iconpardonm3:
pardonM3 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2008
thanks =)
i know i should try... but i'm not makin' any promises.
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:iconblue-strawberry:
blue-strawberry Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2008
outlined with chalky precision like
car crash victims bleeding out
black tar running thick
in these city streets


I absolutely love those lines. This is fantastic.
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:iconpardonm3:
pardonM3 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2008
Thank you.
That's my favorite part, too :heart:
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:iconorphicfiddler:
orphicfiddler Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2008
I envy you your similes, "outlined with chalky precision like/car crash victims bleeding out." Unxpected and unusual. Youare such an original poet.
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